Did you know what spring means?
by LILPRINCEASS
Summary: Hanahaki is a deadly disease where the person coughs up flower petals due to severe one-sided love. Fine loved the Cherry blossoms even after knowing it is killing her.
1. Chapter 1

Hanahaki is a deadly disease where the person coughs up flower petals due to severe one-sided love. Fine loved the Cherry blossoms even after knowing it is killing her.

Chapter 1: Blooming for you…

Fine isn't supposed to be surprised by the scenery.

Scattered Sakura petals all over her bed, she might've had coughed it all when she was sleeping. Fine laughed bitterly amidst it all. She can even vividly remember a warm dream about spring but it seems like a joke now.

She groggily stood up and gathered the petals with her hands. After gathering it all she took a moment to look at the painfully admirable pink flutters. It's _almost_ too beautiful to think that something so innocent is killing her. She kept the clutter of petals close to her chest before sighing and flushing them down the toilet.

She took a glance at her phone and it's almost six in the morning. She wanted to sleep but if she does, her sister might barge in while she coughs up pompous petals and of course Rein being Rein would put her through interrogation and make her fess up to who might be the cause of her Hanahaki.

It has been weeks after Christmas and frostbitten world await her outside her dorm. Fine is already cold enough inside so she doesn't feel like going to classes anymore, she would die soon anyways. It's a shame that she would not be able to see spring this year or see her friends on the end of the third semester hibernating after the Finals.

 _So much to miss…. So cold._ She thought

Fine felt a bit of scraping in her lungs. It hurts. It hurts so badly as she clutched at the wall for support. She ran to the toilet holding at the falling petals from her mouth. She coughed badly as petals after petals ripped down her throat and she feels nauseous. She slumped on the wall after the rough coughing fit already too tired to even stand. For a moment Fine wished all of it to end already as she closed her eyes, it hurts too much.

No matter how much she wanted him, no matter how much she loved him it's still too much. And now it hurts more than emotional because right now she is in a thin line of death.

Audible footsteps entering her apartment caught her attention. Just her luck, Rein is now there to poke her ass to stand up and go to university. Fine panicked a little before she closed the bathroom door and flushing the petals away.

"Fine? Are you awake?" Her twin sister's voice rang through.

"Yeah, just a minute!" Fine answered forcefully. She's tired but she has to face the harsh reality that no matter how bad she's feeling right now; the world will continue to turn it's cruel pace.

She sighed one more time before getting ready to meet her twin sister.

"Well hello sister dear! Who knew you could actually be a morning bird if you want to! You've been waking early this week!" Rein gleefully greeted her with a smile.

 _Well it's been a week since an innocent adorable plant started growing in my lungs_ Fine thought. "You guys never believed me" Fine pouted. "Anyways I haven't gone to the grocery yet so we could only have pancake today"

Rein eyed her twin sister "Fine, are you alright? You don't look good"

Fine bit her lower lip, since when does her sister can read her? Oh yeah probably since birth "I'm fine what are you even talking about?" Fine do feel guilty lying to her beloved sister, but she cannot find out now, not after resolving her decisions firmly.

"Are you sure?" Rein asked not convinced as she eyed Fine more suspiciously.

"You're just imagining things" Fine faked a smile.

* * *

 **One week ago.**

Fine looked at her vibrating phone.

 **Rein 9:30**

 _We definitely have to go!_

 **Fine 9:32**

 _And why is that?_

 **Rein 9:35**

 _Is that even a question? We are invited and everyone agreed to go too!_

 **Fine 9:36**

 _Tell everyone I'm sorry I have a report to finish. Remember I am now the leading patisserie candidate at school! I have to study_

 **Rein 9:40**

 _Liar! You never study you have a natural talent for making sweets! You're just jealous because Shade is hanging with another girl we barely know for a semester now!_

 **Fine 9:42**

 _Now let us not go into that shall we? I may have a natural talent of making sweets but it will not help me in written tests. After the principal acknowledged me and even gave me a bouquet of flower I cannot fail his expectations now._

 **Rein 9:43**

 _YOU BLOODY LIAR! Are you forgetting as to who you are talking with right now? I can feel lies seeping out from you right now!_

 **Rein 9:45**

 _Fine, we are going to that fireworks display on New Year._

 **Rein 9:48**

 _You want me to come to your apartment and drag you?_

 **Fine 9:56**

 _I get it! Please don't humiliate us we have enough humiliation for a lifetime when we are still kids…_

 **Rein 9:58**

 _Good. And you don't have to worry about that banshee witch clinging to Shade. Her sorry ass just got rejected and cannot accept it._

 **Fine 10:00**

…

 **Fine 10:01**

 _How did you know?_

 **Rein 10:03**

 _Shade told us when Leone asked him during lunch the other day after you left hurriedly because of a class._

 **Fine 10:08**

 _But he was acting as if he likes the attention!_

 **Fine 10:08**

 _I sounded like a jealous girlfriend even though I have no right I'm sorry._

 **Rein 10:09**

 _Why even would you be sorry? That unloving human being doesn't deserve so much from you!_

 **Fine 10:13**

 _Rein, he's amazing, we both know that. ^-^_

 **Rein 10:16**

 _I know it's just that…. He's too dense for someone in his caliber!_

 **Fine 10:17**

 _I think it's more because I am not good enough for him and never really told him anything._

 **Rein 10:18**

 _That's it we're ending this conversation I cannot hear any more of your self-belittling because of an unloving piece of dense 'prince'. Remember tomorrow's firework_ _display alright! Goodnight dear sister don't dream of that unworthy soul._

Fine put her phone down and stared at the ceiling. She could not understand how Rein could diss Shade like that when it comes to talking about him as the person of interest of Fine herself. Rein admired Shade as a top student with matching good looks and superiority in many aspects but whenever Fine talks about him Rein becomes somewhat bitter and start saying a bit of harsh words. Fine would sometimes cover her ears because of that.

Fine fell asleep while thinking about him again that night.

* * *

Fine have a love-hate feeling about the season. She's thankful because her coat can cover her paling body and her scarf can hide the muffled petals she would cough from time to time. But she is still shivering to the bone.

Fine glanced at the clock above the board where her professor is talking about Sachatorte and the taste different taste buds of every person to consider. Fine already mastered it so she doesn't have to take proper attention and still can pass the upcoming test. And her eyes are barely holding up, her body is too weak for this. And of freaking course petals is clawing their way on her throat but she forced them down. She'll catch more attention than she already is. She slumped down on her table and decided to take a nap. On her nap, she dreamt of the first time she met Shade.

* * *

 **Two years ago**

It was spring and Fine loves spring! Because a lot of different variety of Japanese traditional sweets comes out! Fine would go around towns just to pick different ideas for sweets.

That time she does not care about anything except for planning to pursue a professional patisserie path. She also want to add journalism major, she loved writing after all and quite skilled at it too!

Fine might be too giddy and excited that time because after a few weeks of cooking test from her school of choice she received a letter of acceptance. Not just that, in the letter her heart flew when she read the words _"Fine Kusami has been evaluated as an exceptional patisserie-to-be and therefore allowed to be two grades advanced."_

She skipped two grades on her first choice, first degree and dream school! She still pursued literature so her school timeline would still be the same as her friends.

Fine hummed a cheerful tone while skipping down the busy road of Tokyo. She grew up in Shibuya and she and her sister moved together in an apartment. Fine had an exclusive dorm room for herself as a present of the school faculty to an exceptional student, she refused at first but eventually accepted the key just in case, and also because the teachers are persistent with their eyes so hung about an exceptional pastry chef student with a good literature future too.

And that room proved to be useful suddenly after two years just after New Year.

Fine stopped on her tracks when a lonely crepe stand caught her attention. An old lady desperately trying to get people to buy from her but she was brushed away. The crepe looks tasty but this is spring! IF you are not creative enough, your business might go awry.

Fine approached the old lady. "Obaa-san can I have one strawberry cream please?" she asked politely as the old lady lit up. The old lady goes inside her stand and started making a strawberry cream crepe.

After a few minutes, the lady handed a crepe to her. If Fine would be honest, it's not that appetizing. It was a bit deformed and the filling is dripping, a sign of not good enough whipping.

Fine paid her and took a bite. Fine can't help but sigh, the crepe was terribly made, no wonder no one approached it. The old lady must've heard her sigh as she suddenly looked down with an apologetic look.

"My daughter is the one who is supposed to manage this stand, but she is in the hospital and we need money" The old lady whispered and started to clean.

Fine frowned but she smiled back after a second. She found a new spring mission!

"Mind if I help you?" Fine asked as the old lady turned to her. "I may not seem like it but I'm good at cooking and baking. And I cannot guarantee an increase of customers but surely I may be a bit of help." Fine smiled.

The old lady was hesitant at first and did not answer. Fine noticed it and thought of a solution.

"How about we take a picture together?" Fine suggested. "I can promise that I am not a scammer and by taking a picture which you can show to the police if I ever do something wrong which I doubt will happen." Fine flashed another smile and the old lady eased and agreed to her idea.

After a minute Fine is changed on an apron "Firstly, can we change the flavors?" Fine asked her mind is already exploding with ideas.

"But I do not know how to cook anything else aside from those" the old lady answered

"You don't have to obaa-san, you can totally leave the cooking to me and focus on getting customers." Fine cheered giving a thumbs-up.

Fine erased the board of flavors to choose from and looked at the available ingredients they have. She scanned them for a while before smiling to herself and writing on the board. She gleefully put it back outside the stall and started making the batter for the crepe.

The old lady approached the stall "Fine-san, unicorn fantasy crepe, green tea mochi crepe, tropical fruits paradise crepe, classic strawberry and cream crepe with sprinkles, Mango tango with banana crepe and spring special Sakura crepe….. I admit they all sound tasty and very pleasing but do we have the right ingredients?" The old lady is quite confused and worried.

"Obaa-san" Fine made her voice soothing as possible. "You can trust me with the cooking, I can promise you that." She smiled a dazzlingly beautiful one that made it hard to say no and the old lady may seem reluctant at first but she let it go. Not too long a customer ordered the queer named 'unicorn fantasy' crepe. (P.s It's basically just a crepe with blue and pink filling and a cotton candy with sprinkles on top.)

Fine did not expect it to be so busy so soon. She's already making three at a time and it's too much!

'One sakura please!' 'Two unicorn fantasy' 'one green mochi' 'mango tango with banana' 'one tropical paradise'

Fine felt like the chanting has increased as hours passed, shouldn't it be decreasing soon. She handed a tropical fruit paradise crepe and started to make another sakura special one. But when she looked back at the ingredient, she almost gasped to see it almost out and when she looked in front, the line is too long and the ingredients won't last.

Fine called out to the old lady "Obaa-san please stop the line from getting any longer, we are running out of ingredients!" She whispered. "Oh yes!" The old lady scampered to the crowd.

Fine turned back to the customer before her "One Sakura Special crepe coming right up!" She smiled as the male blushed a bit.

Fine sighed as the last customer in line turned their back at her. She's exhausted, it was exhausting. The ingredients are totally used up and barely filled the last order. Fine smiled before stretching up and sitting down after hours of standing and cooking. Fine let her eyes close for a moment, she felt a huge success cry coming from the back of her mind that just made her smile even more.

"That was fantastic!" The old lady smiled approaching the relaxing figure. "As far as I can remember we never had so much customers like that! Such a creative young woman you are!" The old lady sat beside her and without opening her eyes, because she seriously want to take a nap right there and then, she can still feel a happy glow from the elder. "Thank you, you have saved me, us"

"No obaa-san it helped me a lot too so there is definitely no need for anything. Please save anything you want to say or give to me to your daughter, I hope she get well soon." Fine sleepily said.

"You really are such a good lady, anyone will be lucky to have known especially to be loved by you" The old lady might've said because Fine is already drifting off to tra-la-la land but she definitely know that the old lady is talking with someone.

"No, please I want one! I want one! The unicorn fantasy one oh please brother I beg!" A little cry from not afar made Fine to unwillingly open her eyes

"But Milky as you can see they are already sold out and about to close" a soft gentle voice answered.

Fine shoved her way up to stand and stretch. She wants to sleep for she is exhausted but she is not going to do it outside. In a city she hardly knew.

"But…" an almost weeping voice said.

"Milky… You won't always get what you want in this world, but let's try next time okay?" The voice remained gentle but it's convicts pierces through.

"Yes"

Fine goes back in front of the stand just to peek a little. A white girl on a blue and yellow striped dress was pouting looking at their stall. Fine can remember when she have to beg for her father and mother to buy her sweets and pastries when she was young, now she can see herself on that child.

Fine took a glance at the ingredients left. She can possibly make two crepes, preferably for her and the old lady but she decided that the little girl _wanted_ it. Fine remembers that she still have some chocolate truffles on their apartment, if by some miracle Rein hasn't touched it yet, and quickly heated the pan, pour some batter on it and made a unicorn fantasy crepe.

Fine made sure to add a little more sprinkle to the cotton candy before running towards the child who was pouting earlier.

"Umm excuse me," she asked tugging to the elder's back. Fine bowed courteously "I am Fine Kusami and I was the one doing the cooking at crepe stall earlier. This might seem a little bit surprising but I accidentally heard your conversation. If it's alright would you like to accept this?" Fine asked holding the crepe towards the man.

 _Oh_

Fine's mind suddenly froze for a bit. The guy was breathtakingly handsome. _"Fine you did not come for this!"_ she mentally slapped herself.

 _Focus!_

"Is that a unicorn fantasy crepe?!" the little child asked. Fine looked down at the seemingly tiny angle on the guy's side.

"Yes, would you like to-"

"YES!" the girl had her eyes go big with stars.

Fine smiled at her before looking up to the brother again. "I went easy with sugar, I don't give too sugary sweets for children" she confided the brother a bit.

The older guy seemed to stare at her for a minute before looking at his little sister who is tugging down his shirt with the 'I-WANT' eyes.

"Can she please have it?" The brother resigned with a sigh.

"It's specifically made for her" Fine said before handing the crepe to the child and smiling down again.

The girl took a bite at the crepe and she seemingly spark as she munched it. "TWIS DIS OSOS JUDE" she muttered with a full mouth and the two older ones laughed..

After laughing Fine stepped back "Well then, I'll get going" she announced bowing once again.

"Oh wait! How much was this?" the handsome brother asked. Fine waved her hand rigorously in front of her "Oh no! Please don't think too much about it, it's just a measly extra." Fine said in denial.

"But I can't accept something like that and even if it's merely extra my sister is really picky in sweets, and she have acknowledged it" the brother tried again.

Fine doesn't really like to accept things she does not want to just like when the old lady offered to pay her.

"Then please think of this as a spring gift from me." Fine gently said as she waved goodbye through the fluttering sakura petals.

"Wait!" the guy had caught her wrist gripping not too tightly. "What is your name?" he asked.

Fine paused for a blink moment "Fine…. Fine Kusami" she answered.

"Mine is Shade Owl, you have a unique name." he had said "Let's talk again sometimes" he smiles before going away.

His figure embroidered it's way to Fine's mind.

"The cherry blossoms are pretty" she whispered to herself looking at disappearing figure through the fluttering petals.

At that time Fine did not even think of the word 'love'. Crush might be the right word but she definitely did not know _anything_ that time.

He started to visit the crepe stand while she worked there.

* * *

Fine fluttered her eyes open, just in time to see the students starting to pack away their things.

' _Oh…. I see'_

Fine thought as she got her bag and dashed out to the washroom barely making it there before coughing up. She feels sick and dizzy. The cough was so bad that people knocked on her cubicle to check on her and ask if she needed help. She brushed them off, after all having Hanahaki… is pathetic.

Now she knows why it's sakura petals that she's coughing up.

It's pathetic but she cannot help herself.

She found a human manifestation of spring.

She wiped small tears from her eyes. She had hope she'd at least last until valentine's. But every day it keeps harder to keep that hope. She's wasting away, she is wilting.

Even though Fine had thought she had bloomed for him, she can only now look at the wilting petals….she is pathetic. Falling off so deeply enough to have Hanahaki knock on her doors in a death wish because of an unfathomable depth of human emotions.

Fine felt her cellphone vibrate and she knew she have to leave that cubicle soon.

To meet her friends and sister and also _him_

The sunshine that made the flower blossom but suddenly decided to change path so now it is wilting..

Fine flushed the toilet and heads down to the cafeteria, where the one who is killing her awaits.

* * *

Author's rambling:

As you can see i just edited it a bit because i wrote this 12 am in the morning and published it at 4 am. This is one of the stories i genuinely like and plan to finish as soon as possible.

So Hanahaki is a real disease JUST KIDDING LOL if it was i'm probably dead by now by falling in love with 2d characters. but seriously i loled so hard when i asked my friends to read it and hear their opinions. They were like

0-0 LIL WAS THERE SUCH A DISEASE ON A MEDICAL BOOK?

Of course it isn't but i must disclaim the fact that the original idea of hanahaki isn't from me. If you perhaps read other fanfictions with soulmate au's you would come across to it. It's a fictional FILLED WITH ANGST AND TRAGEDY WHICH I BREATH FOR disease and probably my favorite fictional disease!

With that i won't say anything if you started writing any fanfictions with the concept of hanahaki, just a forewarning Hanahaki may come in different variety BUT STILL PLEASE PRESERVE IT'S ANGSTY FEEL.

and that's for my rambling chapter two is on it's way... with love, LIL.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two: Wilting

Fine flushed the toilet and made sure that no one is in the area before stealthily going away blending in the crowd.

"Hello Fine-san" she heard from time to time. She would sometimes pass a small smile or nod, but now she is just pretending to not hear it unless if it's just a near range where ignoring seems suspicious, nodding and smiling is getting tiring.

She forced herself to walk faster, if she is late the others will question and make it harder for her to lie. In the first place she hates lying to her friends and sister, it just cannot be avoided. She has to go through this alone. Even though she knows she has to tell her parents at least and she already planned to do so on the hour of her inevitable death.

It's the faith of the unloved ones. When their red thread of fate cannot reconnect they either give up or die. And since Fine cannot give up she chose death.

* * *

It's an old folk tale. Everyone has a red string of fate but it is not bound to anyone since birth. You have to thread it to the person of your affection by spending time with them and making the bond stronger so that they cannot stray away.

It's not supposedly literal 'string' but if two people are connected by it after loving each other they would be fused, bounded by the string, and be soulmates. An unbreakable union and said to be bounded by the string from the heart and would only disappear on their death. An oath of everlasting loyalty and devotion.

But that was then, ever since the 19th century people strayed away from that belief of love and followed their instinct of lust and freedom. In a democratic world it is not prohibited nor hated. It is actually wide accepted after being poisoned by a bitter writer who deemed the 'red string of fate' as a 'chain of enslavement'. But later to be found out that it might be because he died of the Hanahaki.

Hanahaki is first coined when emperors and kings still exist. Its first written history came from a Chinese Empress whose husband has cheated on her.

" _I threaded my red thread to him but threaded death instead"_ As the empress quoted.

Hanahaki is a rare disease only to occur if your red thread has not been connected to the person of your life.

You only thread your 'red string' once you are sure of the person's devotion. Because if you thread it and have not been threaded back death awaits the other end of your thread.

Threading it is a sacred act of loyalty for two ready hearts and mind to comply.

After the break out that the author of a widespread revolutionary article died because of Hanahaki many believers tried to bring back the belief but it's not successful. Many people married and have their own families without having the attached red string to their hearts.

From then on, divorce and cheating on your lover is like a wildfire. And because of that the believers of the 'red string' also started to dissipate.

But the red string is not gone, neither does Hanahaki. They are still living on each human but rarely talked about now and often go unnoticed. Many people die and marry without the red string and adultery is still widespread.

Even from the old times Hanahaki is rare, after all how can you give your heart to someone who can't do the same right? They talked about it in the past like an abomination and often looked down upon. 3/50,000 people is the ratio of Hanahaki possibility. It is not unheard though it is still looked down especially in a world where you can sleep with someone and not see them the next day with no problems, or why would you give such loyalty to a person that's such an insane idea.

News of couples who are bound with the 'red string' getting married are now gold. They are almost rare as finding the only one four-leaved clover in a 16 hectares land.

Hanahaki's most lengthy time of survival is one-month from a case in 1966, it is mostly because of the presence of the loved person of the patient, the very doctor who is treating her who is sadly married without a bond.

But if all of that cut-off one-week is the most possible time of death. It is after all physical torture, the nausea, the scraping of throat, the restriction of airways, and the coughing. With the addition of emotional breakdown of the fact, your chosen soulmate rejected you.

* * *

Fine is worn-out by just walking to the cafeteria.

But it's such a huge mistake.

She was welcomed by a few greetings and of freaking course, a Shade with his arms wrapped around the shoulder of another girl.

Great! Just great! The universe loves Fine confirmed!

The scraping on her throat got more violent, Fine coughed on her scarf so that the petals would be stashed away.

"Fine, what's with that cough? Are you alright?" Leone asked the other girl worriedly rubbing her back mildly.

"Yup, just a bit of pneumonia I guess, nothing much" Fine shrugged before slipping on the table and getting her bento.

"I think you should see a doctor" Shade worriedly said.

 _Why would you act as if you care?_ "I'll try if my schedule allows me" Meaning no, there's no way she'll let the world know of how pathetic state she's in.

"But you definitely should, that cough sounds really terrible" Shade looked genuinely worried and his eyes directed at her.

His eyes still leaves her breathless. Those shiny amethyst orbs that seems to hold a lot. A lot of wisdom, secret and a lot more of things Fine want to uncover for herself and longed to be aimed at her. And only her with the same longing and desire she possess towards him. Because she loves him like that, like a genie to it's holder. She was hopelessly in love.

But those eyes she can never have.

Those eyes that will only look at her like this in pity.

"I'll try" she whispered like a rat before eating quietly trying to ignore the violent ripping on her lungs and a pool of unshed tears behind her lashes.

* * *

A/N

I hope you understand my concept of this fic now.


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